Angel Food

About two weeks ago I finished a job that had taken its toll on me physically, mentally, and spiritually. It involved tons of travel, and after over six months of being away, I finally came home. 

My best friend picked me up from the airport and brought me to her house for some much-needed eatin' and drinkin' and talkin'. She also gave me the gift of the use of her Kindle for a few weeks, saying that while she had bought tons of great books (most of them in the Self-Help/Spirituality/Health/Hippie-Chick realm), she never had time to read them. That was lucky for me, since I was in the midst of a mild existential crisis and unemployed, with nothing but time on my hands.

I was so happy to turn on the Kindle and find a book that another dear friend (one of a select few scintillating women who comprise my close circle) had recommended to me just a few days earlier while I was visiting her at the beach. I began to read it immediately. The book is called E-Squared: Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality by Pam Grout (and you can buy it here.)

The book is wonderful and I want you to get it and use it for yourself, so I won't give it all away (besides, I've only read the first three chapters so far), but the premise is that the Universe (or the Divine, or God) is a force that is as unemotional and democratic as gravity or electricity. What is offered to, and expected of, the Universe is what it will return. The book offers nine distinct experiments that are designed to prove (prove!) the benevolence, malleablility, and reliability of the Universe.

I have always loved the idea of the Law of Attraction, and other principles that claim to be capable of eliminating obstacles and fulfilling one's every desire, but it just never seems to work for me. Other people win money in the lottery, or have people show up out of the blue to offer them free ski vacations in Aspen, or actually make it past the final callbacks of a Broadway show, but not me. I mean, I buy the raffle tickets, I fill out the entry for for the HGTV Dream House twice a day EVERY DAY...they always seem to call someone else's name. And I'm over it.

Clearly there's a substantial block in the way of my speedy trip down the road to bliss...re-read that last paragraph...I just did. If this book is correct and I'm being given exactly what I'm putting out there, then I've already been proving my own scientific experiment of this theory for most of my life. Obviously I'm going to have to re-arrange my thought process. No, come to think of it, these thoughts have been a part of my life for so long now that they've become beliefs. I'm going to have to create a new belief system. Holy crap. It's a good thing I don't have a job right now.

The first experiment in the book - complete with lab report (remember that from high school Biology?) - is going to prove the theory that there is a benevolent and responsive energy source available to me at all times and that all I need to do is ask. The book instructs me to give the Universe exactly 48 hours to give me a sign, a clear-cut, no-mistaking-it sign that cannot be written off as coincidence. We’re not allowed to ask for specifics yet - that will come later. The book tells me to pick a time (ideally, now) to begin the experiment.
 
I put down the Kindle and immediately I notice that I’m having an actual physical response of anxiety and doubt. That vaguely sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that says, “Don’t buy into this, don’t get your hopes up. It’s probably not going to work and then how will you feel?” As I’ve become accustomed to doing, I proceed despite my doubts and I write down the date and time; 6:29pm Thursday May 29 2014. I write the deadline; 6:29pm Saturday May 31. I write “thank you,” at the bottom of the page and I sign my name. Then I wait.

I resist at first, but suddenly I’m feeling like a kid on Christmas morning. “I’m going to get a present? A surprise gift from the Universe?! What could it possibly be?” I find myself excited and wanting to read the rest of the book, but the only chapters left before the end are the other experiments and I don’t want to get ahead of myself. I bookmark the page in E-Squared and open the Home screen on the Kindle.

Another book, The Tapping Solution, catches my eye. A memory stirs in my mind. Tapping. I had heard about it on  Kris Carr’s website a couple of years back and had been interested, but didn’t have time to delve deeper. I clicked on the book cover and began to read. I couldn’t believe it. This book was all about using elements of acupressure and cognitive therapy to physically reprogram your brain’s response to negative emotions, memories and experiences so that they’re processed and released. The book tells you how to create a new belief system!!!!

How else was I going to be able to proceed with the rest of my energy experiments without a practical tool to help me literally change my mind? I was floored. It hadn’t even been an hour since I began my experiment and the Universe had delivered.
I really want to write more about my experiences with tapping and the unbelievable changes I’ve already experienced in just a few days, but I think I’ve gone on for long enough today. If any of this resonates, feel free to comment and ask for more info or click on the links and check the books out for yourself. You can find out more about tapping and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) here.

Thanks to S and T, two of my very best angels.

Mille-feuille Cake Recipe

Mille-feuille, also called a Napoleon, is a French dessert cake that means, "a thousand leaves," or "a thousand layers."

You can find a recipe for this lovely Strawberry Mille-Feuille here!

Mille-feuille

Hi. I'm Elizabeth and I'm a 32 year-old woman. I live in New Orleans. I have a boyfriend who lives with me there. I'm an actress. I also sing and dance. I ride a bicycle. I love to travel. I have a sweet tooth. I love kids, but I don't think I want to have my own. I struggle with self-love and self-compassion. I try really hard at most things, but on some level I know I don't need to try so hard. I want to be a writer. I have a craving for pancakes right now. 

Full disclosure; I'm starting this blog because a marketing company has hired me to do some freelance blogging and they told me I would be more valuable if I had a blog of my own. I wrote one about five years ago when I went to India to volunteer and my life changed forever. I was really proud of that trip and that writing. It's still up if you want to check it out. www.elizabethindiaadventure.blogspot.com 

I had a reason to write then, but I'm not sure I have a reason now. It's good though, because this is something I've wanted to do for a while anyway. Even if no one reads this - and honestly, I'm not sure I need or even want anyone to read it - it'll be good for me to write regularly, get my thoughts out there (so I can be embarrassed about them later, perhaps).

I was trying to think of a name for this blog that would represent me well and give some sort of suggestion of what the content would be - even though I don't know what the content will be beyond the fact that it will come out of my own life and my own experiences. Those of you who are fans of Sex and the City (girls and gays, I'm looking at you) may remember an episode where Carrie is asked by Miranda to be Brady's godmother. Carrie is reluctant to take on the responsibility, thinking that she's not maternal or spiritual enough. Miranda insists that those are the very qualities she's looking for in a guide for her son and throws in the promise of cake at the party as the final enticement. Carrie agrees, "Spirituality...and cake!" 

I am - and have been for the majority of my adult life - on a quest for spiritual growth, happiness, and enlightenment. That doesn't always look the way you think it's going to look. Sometimes it shows up in stilettos and a mini skirt, swilling a martini and smoking a cigarette. Sometimes it's in a yoga class, when you get into that hip-opening pigeon and the floodgates open and the tears come raging out. Sometimes it's in those moments when you finally say "I can't anymore. I'm giving up." Sometimes, there's cake.

I don't have any of the answers, but I'm usually willing to ask the questions. I guess that's what I'll endeavor to do here.

So, friends, as we embark on this journey together, I have to give it up to my new brand new baby of a blog's namesake and say:

As I wrote the final sentence of my first blog entry, I couldn't help but wonder...